herestocrime:

harleysfunhouse:

She was slurping up a spaghetti when she heard the sirens as well. “Umm hmm.” She dropped her fork and motioned for her pop gun. “It’s the coppers!!!” She looked around at the once hopeless faces turn extremely hopeful and let out a laugh, nearly choking on a piece of pasta still in her mouth. “Do you’z guys think ya really gettin’ out of here in one piece?”

“I guess we’ll take this to go. Chop chop!” He got up as well, snapping for the waiters to box up the rest of the food. He smirked at Harley who was already one step ahead of him. “We had a great time, everyone. I was going to let you all walk out of here, but someone notified the official party crashers.” He took out a few cans of Joker Toxin (this time in a gaseous form) and handed Harley a gas mask. He was immune to the toxin, but she wasn’t. “…But hey, lighten up! It’s not the end of the world…. hahAhahaHAha!”

With a fork he punctured the cans, and tossed them around the room. Laughter started to break out around them, and the Joker took a bow. The sirens had started to get quite loud, and he decided it was time to make their retreat. “Grab the food, Harls.” He had a bag in one of his hands already, and with the other grabbed a gun from inside his jacket pocket. People were already starting to drop with glorious smiles on their faces.

She quickly put the mask on and grabbed the rest of the bags. “I gotta say Mistah J, this was one heck of a party.” She ran out behind him, only to run into a swarm of officers circling their car. “What’d we do Mistah J?” She hid behind him, ready to follow his lead.

herestocrime:

harleysfunhouse:

She looked over to the trembling woman as she noticed her tilted frame. Harley walked swiftly over to the woman and picked a string of spaghetti off of her dress. “No ones comin’ ta save ya. Not th’ coppers, not ‘cha mommy and not Bats!” She reached into the woman’s slack mouth and pulled out her tongue. “So why don’t ‘cha do us all a big fava’-” She pulled a red knife from a thigh holder and placed it under the woman’s tongue. “And quit-” The woman began to beg and cry, as much as anyone could with another person holding their tongue. “Ya yappin’!” Harley sliced through the woman’s tongue and handed it to the man standing next to her. “For you.” She skipped back over to her table and took her seat. The woman dropped to the floor screaming as blood pooled from her mouth. “So, what’d I eat first?!” She said looking at all the food on the table.

“Anything you want, Harls!” Another waiter came up, shaking, with a bottle of wine. “Oh, I guess we did order wine. HahAHAhah!” He poured the red wine with slow precision, obviously afraid of what would happen if he spilled. The plates of food were arranged around them, and by now people had sat back down.

There was a crowd of people helping the woman who Harley had ‘silenced’ to the bathroom. She was sobbing and holding her mouth, while the man who had been handed the tongue was shaking uncontrollably with a look of vacancy in his eyes. 

People began to eat again, and Joker decided to do the same, although he had come here more for the excitement than the food. They would probably end up taking most of it with them, anyway. The food was good, at least. His mind was starting to drift to how they would make their leave when the distant sound of sirens reached him. “Harley… Do you hear that?” 

She was slurping up a spaghetti when she heard the sirens as well. “Umm hmm.” She dropped her fork and motioned for her pop gun. “It’s the coppers!!!” She looked around at the once hopeless faces turn extremely hopeful and let out a laugh, nearly choking on a piece of pasta still in her mouth. “Do you’z guys think ya really gettin’ out of here in one piece?”

dontmesswithpoisonivy:

When You’re Roleplaying with Somebody and they just disappear

You sit and wait and wait for them to come back, seeing obviously they are still on

Then the rest of the day goes by, and they still never continued

Then another

Till finally they answer back and your just like

((Am I the only one?))

(via teenagedharleyq)

herestocrime:

harleysfunhouse:

The restaurant turned into a mad house, people running around like chickens with their heads chopped off, waiters doing their best to still try to please Mistah J and a dead waiter with a hole in his head making a mess of the floor. Harley giggled and kicked the expired kid, “That’s what ‘cha get for messing up my new shoes!” She looked around at the people, tripping over each other. “Now this is what I call a party!” 

The Joker stood and shot at the door now; three shots to get their attention, only one actually hit someone and it was just in the shoulder. “Ah-ah-ah! And I thought you people were civilized!” This place was starting to get more lively by the minute. “Please, would everyone just take there seats so we can get on with the evening? Can’t have you all running around and disrupting the peace, ahHAhAha!” 

The waiters had put everything else on hold now to get their food, and were bringing them out again. This time they did not spill, despite the crowd of people all hesitantly migrating back to their seats. 

He was just sitting down when a young woman spoke, her voice trembling. “J-Just let us go! Batman will be here any minute so you-” She stopped when he glared at her. He paused and glanced at Harley, giving a little smile. 

“Harls, did we order any whine? I don’t think we did.” He was hinting that she should give the woman a little wake-up call and keep her quiet, thinking it rude that he should have all the fun. 

She looked over to the trembling woman as she noticed her tilted frame. Harley walked swiftly over to the woman and picked a string of spaghetti off of her dress. “No ones comin’ ta save ya. Not th’ coppers, not ‘cha mommy and not Bats!” She reached into the woman’s slack mouth and pulled out her tongue. “So why don’t ‘cha do us all a big fava’-” She pulled a red knife from a thigh holder and placed it under the woman’s tongue. “And quit-” The woman began to beg and cry, as much as anyone could with another person holding their tongue. “Ya yappin’!” Harley sliced through the woman’s tongue and handed it to the man standing next to her. “For you.” She skipped back over to her table and took her seat. The woman dropped to the floor screaming as blood pooled from her mouth. “So, what’d I eat first?!” She said looking at all the food on the table.

herestocrime:

harleysfunhouse:

She giggled at his manic smile, she knew something was knocking around in his noggin. “Maybe paint it red!” She looked around, “Where’s that silly nilly with our food. I’m starved.”

“You know me so well.” He said after she mentioned painting the restaurant red. It could use some color. 

As far as the waiter, he was trying the Joker’s already small bit of patience. After a few more minutes he was starting to get antsy. Finally the kid came out, carrying the food with him. He needed another guy’s help to carry all the food they had gotten, but as they were setting it down the first boy tripped on the seat of the woman Harley had recently spoke to- the woman with the steak. He was carrying the Joker’s food, some sort of pasta. As he fell it dropped on the ground, jumping loose from the plate as if it was running from impending danger. 

The Joker clenched his teeth. “Oh no no no no… Muh-Mister Joker… I’m sorry, so s-sorry! I-I’ll get you a new one right away… right away, no charge! Please don’t kill me.” He just sat there, staring down at the boy who was still on the floor. Then he smiled. 

“Don’t worry about it, kid! Hey, lighten up! I’m the Joker, known for my sense of humor! I wouldn’t kill someone over a little spilled pasta!” The young waiter seemed relieved at that, and got up, promising to get something to clean up the spilled pasta right away. As he turned around, the Joker added, “…But you did keep me and my date waiting.” The boy turned around just as the Joker pulled a gun and shot him. “Can someone clean him up, too? He’s making a mess on the carpet.”

The restaurant turned into a mad house, people running around like chickens with their heads chopped off, waiters doing their best to still try to please Mistah J and a dead waiter with a hole in his head making a mess of the floor. Harley giggled and kicked the expired kid, “That’s what ‘cha get for messing up my new shoes!” She looked around at the people, tripping over each other. “Now this is what I call a party!” 

herestocrime:

harleysfunhouse:

“I’d like what eva she’s having.” The waiter was just about to scurry off, “Wait a second, I’m not done.” She scanned the menu once more and ordered anything she could find that was over sixty. “That’ll be all.” She said as she stuck her nose in the air and handed the frightened waiter her menu. “So Puddin. Do ya think we’d run into Brucie?”

“Well that would be fun, wouldn’t it? Opening night in his new restaurant, you’d think the guy would show up… But we could always give him a little incentive.” He laughed a little. Oh, how he wished that waiter would screw up so he could give the public something to stare at. The dull paintings on the wall, classic furniture, even orchestral pieces playing in the background! This place really did need a little flair to it. Maybe before they left they could put in a few renovations, as a present for the free food. 

She giggled at his manic smile, she knew something was knocking around in his noggin. “Maybe paint it red!” She looked around, “Where’s that silly nilly with our food. I’m starved.”

“I’d like what eva she’s having.” The waiter was just about to scurry off, “Wait a second, I’m not done.” She scanned the menu once more and ordered anything she could find that was over sixty. “That’ll be all.” She said as she stuck her nose in the air and handed the frightened waiter her menu. “So Puddin. Do ya think we’d run into Brucie?”

herestocrime:

[[ and possibly kill the anon askers if IC ]]

harleysfunhouse:

Harley giggled at the young waiter’s fright. “What a boob,” Harley she whispered to her Puddin as they followed behind the the goofy waiter. All eyes were on them, but then again all eyes were always on them. “Hey Mista J, looks like we’re the main attraction tonight.” She…

She sat down and watched the boy scrabble to get the table in order. “Chop chop!! I didn’t come her’ ta watch ya sweat on this beautiful table cloth!” The young waiter nodded and made his way towards the back, but not before tripping on Harley’s foot. “Hey! Watch it kid!” She screamed out. 

She looked over to a couple next to them. “Boy, does that look good. Excuse me?” She motioned to the woman trying her best to not notice Harley. “I said-” She got up and moved the woman’s face for her. “Excuse me!” She smiles at her and then pointed at her dish. “What’s that cha got there?” The woman managed to get out in a whisper tone, “Its- I think a- Steak- Please don’t kill me.” Harley looked at the woman and clutched her chest. “What makes ya think I wanna do that? Pardon me doll, but you’re not my type.” She walked back over to her Puddin and took her seat.